My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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