Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
