someone threw a dead crab at me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
