i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize