maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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