I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
