cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
