walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
