He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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