Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
