Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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