You're my little dorito
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
