Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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