At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
