dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
