Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
