yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We are two peas in an std pod
he quoted the bible to break up with me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
