Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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