I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I cockslap morals
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
