It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
