moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
