I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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