i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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