Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
