I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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