What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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