I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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