He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
