2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
