I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
