i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to calm my uterus...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
