your thong is hanging out like whoa
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
