he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
