Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
