He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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