Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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