Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today