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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.

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• (714): View more from California

  He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK

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• (561): View more from Florida

  The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.

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