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she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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