Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!

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  (631): Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade! http://tfl.nu/mpw5
  Replies (30) Good night (790) Bad night (3787)
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  (716): View more from New York

  angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

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  (716): angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up http://tfl.nu/mr2g
  Replies (26) Good night (4588) Bad night (877)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

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  (647): Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville http://tfl.nu/omyo
  Replies (13) Good night (3238) Bad night (1154)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.

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  (207): I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/pgeg
  Replies (30) Good night (7223) Bad night (1246)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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  (337): i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out. http://tfl.nu/6suh
  Replies (169) Good night (2025) Bad night (20792)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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  (330): Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment. http://tfl.nu/dli5
  Replies (11) Good night (1404) Bad night (2280)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3780) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost

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  (215): Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost http://tfl.nu/oth1
  Replies (4) Good night (4132) Bad night (1071)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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  (307): The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though. http://tfl.nu/bysz
  Replies (8) Good night (1043) Bad night (3313)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine

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  (315): After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine http://tfl.nu/ymwq
  Replies (9) Good night (2377) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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  (601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht
  Replies (5) Good night (2052) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair

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  (570): I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair http://tfl.nu/vjbt
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1289) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.

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  (303): Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful. http://tfl.nu/s24n
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?

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  (317): Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life? http://tfl.nu/hpvf
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (347)

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