Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
