Umm I'm too high to move.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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