Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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