Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
