You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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