that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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