i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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