Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize