I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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