here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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