Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
me + whiskey = a bad person
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
