Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
