This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Quick, to the slutcave!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
