I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize