So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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