Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
