This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize