it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
