i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
send nudes
from the living room?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
