shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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