Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
