Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
