the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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